And We Know It's Never Simple Never Easy

I wake up every morning sad, sleepless and angry.
In general life is amazing. I have no problem admitting that.
I don't think that it's something I should have to hide.
I'm happy.
But things hit you differently at different times.
That gaping hole of unfinished business.
A deep chasm of what now.

I guess nothing is supposed to make sense.

I do know that I'm being made out to be a bad guy.
But I'm not the only bad guy here.
I guess thats not the point.

....

There are so many things I want to say.
But I guess that's not the point either.

Breathe - Taylor Swift

Cats.

More Proof That Jamie One Day Will Be A Cat Lady:
My cats (3) have been spoiled with soft food for...maybe the past month? My one cat, Sultan, is incredibly shy and because of this food change he has become a really. big. diva.
Each morning and evening he yowls angrily and expectantly for his soft canned food while Jasmine, his sister, waits patiently. It's been good for him socially speaking, because he no longer fears all forms of human interaction, but seriously. Such a diva.

We have run out of soft food.

They pitifully turn their noses up the the hard kitty kibble of old. They look at their bowls and then up at me with disgust. They nibble little bites and act as though it is physically painful for them to eat this garbage. How could I be so insensitive. They refuse to eat.

I don't know why I felt the need to tell you all that.
Cat people are like this you see.
It's the same reason we buy articles of clothing with cats on them.
Or mugs.
Or slippers.
Steven, I was going to buy you a cat mug for Christmas...
You see, for now it's a trendy Forever21 novelty cat T-shirt.
Soon it will be the full blown, over washed Kitty sweater/track pants combo covered in mustard stains and fur.
Soon.
Very soon.

The Good The Bad and The...

Every time I attempt to make a blog update I get all antsy because my life = not that interesting.
I worry that you will judge my non interesting life!
But you know - life is interesting.
And as far as my blog is concerned: It's my place to write what I want about whatever I want.

the good:
Today I heard a story about some bouncers life being saved by the wallet in his mickey pocket. Some lame person decided to try to stab him because he bounced this guy out of the club. Thankfully his wallet was so full of credit cards that the knife refused to pierce his flesh! He said he never brings his wallet to work but decided to that night!
I think that's pretty cool!
We are a society obsessed with luck. Or coincidence. Or something. The word came to mind as I was listening to the radio broadcast but I can't think of it now...

the not so great:
There is something to be said about happiness. One thing you could say is that it's this ever present competition between groups of people or individuals in general. We use facebook - for example - to document our happiness. But sometimes what is happiness for you can mean hurt for others. I hope you're happy. I hope we can talk one day. I hope you don't hate me. But it's okay if you do. It's life.
One thing I am not willing to do however - is live in misplaced guilt.
Or give power to a grudge.
It is life. But it's my life too.