My Long Weekend.

Mah brain feels like it's dryer than a well thats really really dry.
And it makes no sense because no alcoholic beverages touched my lips last night.
Maybe my body is still recovering from the alcoholic beverages it's going to be consuming tonight.
I should drink more water.
And vodka.

So it's like the long weekend but half of the long weekend is done already.
Boo.
Today I'm supposed to clean the house but the thought of cleaning makes my brain even thirstier.
I remain positive that house elves would be the best solution to this and that the wizarding world is like, really lazy. I should be a wizard. Or witch. Wizard sounds cooler.
My room hasn't been clean in several months too...
Every time I try to clean it the laundry monster is like "JAAAMIIEE CAN'T DO IT."
And so I give up and go on facebook.
I need more washing machines in my house in order to accomplish the task that is my laundry.
It's so cold and dusty in my laundry room I don't like going in there.
The house elves would have to go in there.
I would like to be nice and give them a breathing mask and jacket for the dust and cold but that would mean I was giving them an article of clothing and therefore setting them free..............
This is so not how I pictured the long weekend going.

Give Me Money

I need to fill my life up with things which are fun!
The only trouble is that fun takes money.
I went into this fall thinking I would be making A LOT more money than I am. It's a little bit frustrating. Right now I don't have any money till Friday and I don't know how I'm going to get through the week. Oh so dramatic. I actually should be getting paid for dance soon here so I shouldn't stress.

Mostly I am just worried about making payments on my Visa...
Oh Visa.
Why.
WHY DID I GET YOU.
And I wish I could say that the money is being spent on frivolous fun things.
Sadly it's mostly being spent on those ordinary yet necessary things in life. Lame.
You never realized how much parking and gas costs until you have to invest in them. If I lived closer to the city I would happily take transit. Well, maybe not happily. Winter sucks.

Luckily though my paycheck is coming just in time for Halloween!
So I will be able to go out and have one last good time before buckling down even harder for a little while.
Yay!

Friends?

People are huge jerks.
They are jerks for being jerks.
And they are jerks for going along with the jerks.
Have fun with the jerks.

I like school but...

Sometimes I wish I could just take classes for fun.
Thats something I'd never picture myself saying.
But it's true!
Theatre History for instance, was admittedly one of my favourite classes.
But actually having to be tested on everything you've retained from a course now seems so disheartening. I want to learn but I don't want to be evaluated.
"Then Read a Book."
I like listening to people talk. I lose interests in educational books very easily. For the most part anyways.
Right now I'm reading up on (what I think is) the history of Atari Gaming systems and I'm not even sure what I should be remembering.
I've notice that sometimes books give you the names of things without explaining what they are, assuming their reader will understand. Because clearly if they are reading the book they have some interest and background in the subject. So by this logic I should know what a P-10 is and so on.
But I don't!
I don't speak geek. I don't even think a P-10 IS anything but it might as well be.
Something about classic text based video games...
I sit in this Art class and take pages of notes which turn out to be invalid information when if comes to a quiz after everything is said and done.
Sigh.

Why can't I just go to class, soak up the information like a sponge and feel more informed at the end of two hours. Why must we need grades to establish weather or not my obsessive note taking was worth while or not.
Because honestly, what am I going to use The History of Video Games for?

Red Carpet

I hate watching award shows like the Emmys or the Academy Awards.
Because all I can think of is how much hate and envy I have for these successful people being celebrated in their pretty dresses and tuxedos.
A party for people who's lives are already a party.
As if it wasn't enough that they are being paid millions and are loved from nation to nation.
We have to give them awards.

Carrie Said So.

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”

♥

So..

this is how a heart breaks.
...

Risen from the Depths!

Goodness Galaxies, it's been a long time since I posted anything.
Probably because my life isn't actually all that interesting (lie) as of late.
Vegas was fun. But that feels so old now I don't really want to go over it.
If you are on my Facebook then you probably saw most if not all of the pictures from the trip as I updated them with ferocious regularity!

Currently I am sitting in my bed with a spray tan I'm not entirely sure is there.
I did one last night.
USUALLY by morning I'm a bronzed God but this morning is not showing dramatic results.
AT ALL.
This could be because I haven't been tanning in the beds/stand up units for a while...
So my plan is to do so this morning and we shall see if my skin begins to glisten with colour.
Who knows!??

In other frivolous news I'm planning on lightening my hair for the first time since I was possibly 13-14 years old. This could either be a very good idea or a very bad idea (as most ideas are) so I will have to keep you updated and on the edge of your seats with news on that.

I owe the University of Calgary $29. 94.
And until this stupid amount of money is paid I can't register for my classes.
I had everything paid off but in the amount of time it took for them to actually ACKNOWLEDGE this they decided to charge me some more interest for shits and giggles.
And so now I owe them $29.94 because THEY were stupid.
Thanks University! I can't register because of your stupidity!
So on my tanning adventures today I need to stop by and demand that they take my money.

Summer is ending so quickly.
I wish I could be like a goose and go somewhere warm for the winter.

♥

Just Gunna Stand There and Watch me Burn...

Now that I've leaked this blog to my Facebook friends I feel like I should actually put some effort into this.
You know....
In case anyone feels like stopping by to see how it's going.
I will tell you now though: Do not expect proper spelling or grammar.
I mean, story of my life right?
BUT RLY.
If you are a spelling/grammar nazi you can feel free to git the fuck out.
BECAUSE NONE OF THAT IS GOING ON OVER HURRR.

You might note the "Must Download" section I placed over there beneath what is supposed to be my profile. I'll be using that space to share music I'm into lately. You can click on the picture to go to the song on YouTube. Probably. Unless they take them down!

So Tom G's huge bash of the summer is coming up on Saturday. I'm super pumped.
Phil and I : AND ANYONE ELSE WHO MIGHT BE INTERESTED : plan on going down to The Rocket to make T-shirts for the event. It might as well be BSD with the amount of costume we want for this party.
I am a firm believer that costumes make everything more fun...
And I just realized the questionable connotations of that statement.

Anyways, I'm pretty excited. Not like overly excited just the right kind of excited that keeps me safe from getting my hopes up and potentially being let down. The so called endless amount of food and drink should satisfy my party lust though.
Sangriiiaaaaa....
I've never tasted you.
I hear you taste like wine.
Check yes or no?

I feel like I'm stuck in a whirl wind. Inside and out.

In other news it's Canada Day Tomorrow :)
Happy Soon To Be Birthday, Country.

But I Want To Be Skinny :(

So I started working out again in an attempt to get a fit and ready bikini body for Las Vegas. What resulted was ME GAINING WEIGHT INSTEAD OF LOSING IT.
Wtf? Seriously body?

WHYWHYWHYYYY??

I have deduced what the problem is. The problem is that when I work out I suddenly begin to worry about my food intake as well. And so as a result food is ALWAYS ON MY MIND. And because I am always thinking about food I am always hungry! So I never stop eating!

If you know me, you know that food and I really don't care about each other.
On a regular day (not sayin' it's healthy) I eat maybe twice.
I mean there is a lot of snacking and stuff (fruit, yogurt, chips..) but other than that I'm not actually hungry.
Clearly I don't have the body of an anorexic child so you can stop imagining me as this tiny lifeless thing sucking on a juice straw in a hospital.

Anyways, I don't really eat. But I don't really lose weight from that either.
This developed as a survival skill!
Because of my families weird eating schedule we don't have meals together typically. So it's FEND FOR YOURSELF LAND at the Horne residence.
When we do eat together it's late at night when dad gets home from work. This usually happens when we are all too lazy and miserable to make food for ourselves so we ask him to pick something up. So we wait. We wait in hunger.

So anyways, gaining weight sucks. Especially when I'm about to leave for a vacation I had every intention of being fit for. AND Especially when I was all "Oh hey, I lost like 10 pounds in the last little while. How the heck did that happen?"

YOU KNOW HOW IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
BY WORKING OUT, OR WORRYING ABOUT FOOD.

The After Party

A tiny goal I should be working on: Take off your makeup before you go to sleep, woman!
My face feels spiked out. Ew,

So, something small that could become a larger project is my room.

My room looks like a rainbow went to a party because all of his friends were going.
He didn't actually want to go but he was feeling left out and uncool. And peer pressure can be a bitch.
Anyways, his rainbow friends got him to the party and were bound and determined to get him drunk that night. So they figured that filling him with shots and beer would be a great idea!

And it was! The rainbow got so drunk he talked to himself in a bathroom mirror for the remainder of the night.
He did this for so long he lost track of time and everyone eventually left the party without him.
The rainbow staggered out of the bathroom, slurring the half remembered names of the friends who left him behind in this shameful state. The room was spinning.
And by this point the rainbow was feeling really sick.
Unfortunately the party was in my room.
And, without warning, the rainbow threw up all over it.

I guess if any of you happen to know me, you'd probably figure that I like it this way.
But I don't. Rainbow throw up is not my deal.

So my first order of business in tiny goal land is to bring some order to my skittle princess bedroom. This should be fun!

:D Exciting, hey?

HEY. I never said these goals would always be interesting!
I believe I made sure to disclaim that in the last blog entry.
Suck it up this is happening!

A Celebration of Mediocrity

I have a theory that life should be full of lots of tiny goals.
I'd like for this blog, in some way, to follow me and my tiny dreams.

I'm not going to learn how to jump out of an air plane or run a 10 K marathon because I am just not that person.
And I am tired of putting high, disheartening expectations on myself that are meant for someone else. Someone else will run that marathon and jump into the sky. Good for them. I'm done with wishing I could say same about myself because I can't. I wont. End of story.
And thats okay :)

I'm 20.
Going on 21.
And I find if difficult to find myself and what I want out of life because I am in constant awe of other peoples success. I watch others flourish in their lives and I consider how I might be able to do well in the same filed. But as inspiring as all these accomplished people are it doesn't help me one bit because I'm. Not. Them. What they do in their life is probably not what I am meant to do with my life.

So.

I will learn how to be happy on a smaller scale before I begin to tackle the larger stuff. I need to learn and understand what I like and what I'm good at and be proud of those things instead of being envious of what others have going for them.
There is no such thing as envy when you are surrounded by things and people you truly love.
But the only way to get those things is to figure out what they are, and let yourself have them.

Welcome ♥

On second though. I'm not sure what this space will be used for.
We'll see!

xo j.